26 March 2011

taking it in.

Tonight I did something I've been forgetting to do for quite some time now.  I often get wrapped up in dreaming about the future or get too busy to slow down.  But, tonight, after a long day a way from home being busy again, I just took in all I could of my baby boy, Henrik.  I studied his little movements, his half white smile, his innocent curiosities.  I absorbed his belly laugh and that deep connection between us in his eyes.  I took it all in as he was in the moment.  For the first time in a long time, I wasn't wondering about what kind of person he will become in the future, I wasn't trying to teach him something that I thought he would need to know for all his days to come.  Nope, not a single thought about the future...I just took him in--I enjoyed him as his one-year old self knowing that tomorrow he may be a little different.

E.B. White once said "I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve (or save) the world and a desire to enjoy (or savor) the world.  This makes it hard to plan the day." I couldn't be torn more by anything else right now.  Just as I need to remember to take in Henrik as he is and to stop always planning my every move as a parent to be sure he grows into his own beautiful person, I need to remember to take in all the beauty of my community as it is today.  I have such high hopes and see such potential in Windom's future, but I also need to remember why I started this journey in the first place...because Windom is a beautiful place to be right now in this moment.

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